Holiday House Guests
“We are having houseguests for the holidays, and we want to make the experience relaxed and enjoyable for the grandparents as well as for our kids,” commented the parents of two children, including a four-year-old daughter who functions on the spectrum of autism. “What are some things we need to consider in making plans for our holiday house guests?”
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Holidays are great fun, but they can also create some agitation and stress for individuals with autism. Our friends must process more conversation, more activity in the house, and other increased sensory stimulus that can be overwhelming. Additionally, changes in the daily routine can be disconcerting. Families might consider some of these ideas for making the visit more comfortable for everyone.
(1) Schedules. As much as possible, maintain your regular family routine. Of course you want to allow time for some special activities and sight-seeing, but try to keep meals, baths, and bedtime on their regular schedule. Don’t forget to talk to your daughter about upcoming special activities. Don’t just get in the car and head out. Take some time to tell her what is getting ready to happen next.
(2) Sleeping Arrangements. If at all possible, let your daughter with autism sleep in her own bed. This will allow everyone to sleep better at night. It will also help her head for bed more readily if you avoid exciting, stimulating activity in the evenings and keep your daughter’s bedtime routine as usual.
(3) Behaviors. If her grandparents have not visited recently, they may not be familiar with your daughter’s autism. It can be disconcerting to unexpectedly find out that their granddaughter has quit speaking or has begun having explosive outbursts. You might consider sending them an e-mail or letter briefly discussing the nature of autism and describing some of her challenging areas as well as some of her strengths. If you have talked about these issues with her grandmother on the phone, don’t assume that she has discussed the ramifications of autism with your daughter’s grandfather.
(4) Time for Connections. In the excitement of holiday activities, we can sometimes forget to arrange time for grandparents and youngsters with autism to connect. Make purposeful plans for some one-to-one interaction between your daughter and both her grandmamma and granddad. They can read her favorite book or take a walk around the block or sit on the porch swing with your sweet daughter. Pick a time that works well for your daughter. If she is relatively focused after supper, then pick that time for reading. If she is very active in the middle of the morning, that would be a good time for swinging or collecting fall leaves.
We welcome your ideas and tips for making holiday visits comfortable for individuals with autism, the house guests, and the whole family. Just send us an e-mail talk@FAQautism.com
Note to FAQautism.com listeners and readers: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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