FAQautism | Cold Turkey Approach

Cold Turkey Approach

A parent of a young adult with autism wrote about a habit that might requre a “Cold Turkey” approach. She said, “When my son entered high school, we started letting him go shopping for a video each week if he was able to control his tantrums and explosive behavior at school. That seemed to work well for several years. Now he has graduated from high school and is demanding more and more trips to the store. We’ve tried to set limits, but his reactions to our limiting shopping trips results in screaming, crying, and throwing items. We need some ideas so everyone in the family can have some peace and so our budget will get some relief.

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These parents worked through the different stages of managing this behavior very systematically, but it has progressed to the point where he is holding them hostage with his demands to go shopping and his daily tantrums. It might be time to consider the “Cold Turkey” approach.
1. Rather than focusing on what you will NOT allow (demanding to go shopping), you might try introducing a NEW plan (being allowed to go on a weekly shopping trip).
2. Say something like, “Son, we are running out of money, so we won’t be able to go to the store very much. We just have a few dollars to spend on special treats each week. So listen to our new plan.”
3. Clip an envelope containing $ 3.00 cash with his name on it on the refrigerator door. Say something like, “You get to have $ 3.00 every single week to buy something. It is your money. We will go shopping at Wal-Mart on Friday afternoon so you can spend your money.” Draw a big star on the calendar signifying the new shopping day.
4. Make certain you define the unacceptable behavior and consequences very specifically. For example, you could say “If you scream for more than 30 seconds or if you knock over a chair, I will take $1.00 out of your envelope. So, even if you get upset or mad, try to be calm so you get to keep your money. Don’t forget, this is YOUR money to spend at Wal-Mart on Friday.”
5. The family needs to brace for emotional fireworks when you implement this “cold turkey,” no compromises strategy. He can take it or leave it. Don’t forget to encourage and praise any signs of positive behavior.
6. Keep in mind that any tantrum he throws can’t be much worse than dealing with his holding everyone hostage with his daily demands for shopping and his daily tantrums and screaming. So, hang in there, and keep us posted on his progress.

We welcome ideas from our listeners about strategies they recommend for our “shopoholic” friend. Just send a message to Talk@FAQautism.com

Note to FAQautism.com listeners and readers: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com