Safe Haven
Some parents asked for strategies to help decrease the need for constantly monitoring their son to “prevent him from hurting himself and from breaking or tearing up items around the house.” The teenager’s dad said, “I feel like all I ever say to him is, ‘Don’t touch’ or ‘Leave that alone.’” Today’s podcast will discuss the second phase of an effective strategy to help make life more peaceful around the house – that of providing a safe place that doesn’t require constant monitoring.
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As we said in yesterday’s podcast, every individual and every living situation is different, but any effective strategy for decreasing the need for constant monitoring requires a three-prong approach that (1) removes temptation and opportunity to touch items, (2) provides a safe haven, and (3) teaches alternatives for destructive or harmful behavior. Yesterday’s podcast, “Constant Monitoring.” focused on the first step in the process, removing temptation. This podcast provides some ideas for creating a safe haven.
Every teenager needs a place to just relax and to escape from constant supervision from adults. Help him put together a safe haven, either in his room or in another room in the house. So, for example, if his safe haven is in his bedroom, clear the clothes from his closet and dresser. Then let him pick out things he likes for his safe haven room – a place where he can hang out without supervision. Consider putting a desk in his room so he can sit in a chair rather than just on his bed or the floor. Pick a desk with drawers so he can put unbreakable items he likes in the drawers. Some items that he might like are Hot Wheel cars, dominoes, a deck of cards, car magazines, nature magazines, a child-proof flashlight, squishy balls, sensory toys, and photo albums of family, school, and events. If he tears up books and magazines, you can make custom books by laminating photos or pages from his favorite magazines and putting them in a binder. If he likes to watch t.v. and videos, but will destroy the television if not supervised, put the t.v. in a cabinet with a lockable plexiglass front. The VCR and remote can be located in a cabinet in the hallway just outside his room. If he likes music, but will destroy a CD player or CD’s, you can have the CD player in the hallway and speakers mounted high on his walls. You can purchase rugged, small radios that he can keep in his room. One very popular item is a swing – either a hammock swing that hangs from the roof or a porch swing on a frame.
Basically, the goal is to make as many things accessible to him as possible. The key to this strategy is to create a safe and enjoyable space where he can enjoy free time without needing constant monitoring. Try to avoid nagging him about putting everything away and keeping his room neat. After all, he is a teenager. Tomorrow we will discuss some ideas for teaching your youngster the “hands off” policy.
Note to FAQautism.com listeners and readers: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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