Parents With Autism
A parent wrote about noticing that, in some ways, she and her son diagnosed with autism share some of the same challenges, only to different degrees. She said, “For example, I don’t like tags in my clothes and eye contact can also be difficult for me, but not very noticeably so. Most of the time, I am grateful for these little attributes because it makes me feel like I understand my son better, and also some of the interventions I use for him, such as picture schedules, help me be better organized. But sometimes, these challenges make it harder to be a parent. For example, my need to be very vigilant around my ‘eloping’ child is more challenging because I tend to be distractible. Mostly, I just feel ‘different’ and a little isolated.” She concluded by saying that she wonders if there are other parents who have some characteristics of autism.
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SOME THOUGHTS. One of my sons has spent a great deal of time with individuals with autism as he was growing up, and worked a bit after graduating from college for an organization that served individuals with autism. He commented once that he believes that ALL people are a bit autistic. After thinking about it a bit, I agree with this observation. I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t have some challenges in the areas of communication, social interaction, sensory defensiveness, need for routine, and/or restrictive interests. At the same time, I’m not convinced that it is necessary to put a label on those collections of behaviors unless they interfere with daily functioning.
The mom asked whether there are other parents of children diagnosed with autism who had some of the characteristics of autism. She commented that she felt like it was “pretty common,” but that, in her experience, “few parents seem to feel (or at least acknowledge) that they face challenges similar to those their child faces.” I am not convinced that it is important that parents or other individuals acknowledge their autistic tendencies. Some of my friends who are family members of individuals with autism have a good sense of humor about their own autistic traits. But others might not be receptive to our pointing out their similarities to their child. Some people might be offended, while others might feel defeated and discouraged.
So, for what it is worth, it seems to me that the best course of action is to discuss the issue with a few parents who are receptive to the concept, and to just move ahead with folks who are not open to the topic. Listeners are welcome to send an e-mail with your thoughts about this topic. This mom is interested in hearing from others.
NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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