Following Directions
“It is a relief to see that other people are experiencing the same problems we are,” said a mom. “My child is 11 yrs. old and was diagnosed with autism 4 years ago. Sometimes I feel like we are regressing in his behavior. We have a hard time getting him to follow directions. I feel as though he is ignoring us and just not listening. He starts whining and becomes very agitated when I keep repeating what I want him to do. We started back to school last week and the mornings are really tough. Trying to get everyone out the door on time is difficult. I need some ideas.”
EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES. The chaos of mornings is tough for all families, but the issues related to autism just magnify the problems. We have had so many comments about the stress of mornings that we featured “Taming Morning Chaos” in the “In-Depth Issues” section of our website. Just click on www.FAQautism.com to find a wealth of ideas that might help smooth out your mornings.
As you observed, his failure to follow directions is an issue, not only in the mornings, but throughout the day. There are so many reasons why an 11-year-old boy might not follow a direction. Here are just a few of the factors that might contribute to his stubbornness.
(1) It might be that he doesn’t hear the direction because he isn’t paying attention.
(2) He may not hear the direction because there is so much auditory input swirling around him (television, other kids, dogs barking, phones ringing, and so on.)
(3) It may be that he doesn’t want to follow the direction. If he is strong-willed, he might just refuse to follow a direction unless it is his own idea.
(4) He may be resistant to change, so it is easier for him to just keep doing what he is doing.
(5) It may be that he gets more attention from busy parents if he doesn’t follow directions. Granted, fussing at him and repeating instructions is negative attention, but it is attention.
(6) On some occasions, it may be that he doesn’t understand exactly what you want him to do or it might be that he simply doesn’t process the language.
(7) Sometimes he might not know how to get started. He may not know the first step to accomplish a task.
(8) Two-part instructions can be confusing for some kids. For example, if you say, “You need to get dressed before you come eat breakfast,” he may just hear the last part of your sentence and come bounding into breakfast in his pajamas.
All of this is to say that you will want to take a close look at his growing refusal to follow directions and determine the cause so you can develop an effective strategy to tackle the issue and make life better for the whole family.
NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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