You’re Driving Me Crazy
Sometimes we just reach the end of our rope when dealing with the multiple challenges encountered by caregivers of individuals with autism. The very nature of autism involves challenges in the areas of social interaction, communication, tolerance for change, and related areas. It is possible for small issues in all these areas to add up to what seems like an overwhelming challenge for family members or teachers or other long-term caregivers. When this happens, we might lose our patience and make comments like “He ALWAYS does little things on purpose just to irritate me” or “She is just driving me crazy!”
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SPECIFIC STRATEGY When this happens, it is probably good to just take a deep breath, step back from the situation, and be a “behavior detective.” As a detective, we can follow the clues to pinpoint exactly what the behavior is and what seems to precipitate the behavior. So, for example, when we feel as if our friend with autism is doing things on purpose to irritate us, it might be a good idea to just jot down behaviors that bug us throughout the day. Then we can take a close look at the list and determine which are purposeful misbehaviors, which are a natural result of autism, and which are a natural outgrowth of the individual’s developmental level.
For example, if our 14-year-old son with autism leaves his clothes in the middle of the floor, displays poor table manners, and resists taking showers, we should consider that most 14-year-old boys do the same. If our 8-year-old daughter constantly repeats the same song over and over, insists on wearing the same shirt to school every day, and refuses to eat anything except macaroni and cheese, we can probably come to the conclusion that all three behaviors are a natural pattern of autism. If our 20-year-old son keeps picking up his sister’s cat, putting it in the trash can, then laughing gleefully when his sister gets angry, we can probably draw the conclusion that he is purposefully misbehaving.
In all three cases, we can certainly address the behaviors. But when we take time to specifically define the irritating behaviors and to scout out the probable cause, we can develop more effective strategies. So, when we reach the end of our rope, we might want to take time to pinpoint the irritating behaviors and to implement strategies for shaping more appropriate behaviors before we exclaim in frustration, “You are driving me crazy!”
CLOSING NOTE: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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