Where Do We Start?
“Our son was diagnosed with autism last year, but, at the time, he was relatively calm,” said the parents. “Now he is four years old and he has started tearing and breaking items and grabbing people, scratching and biting them. He won’t sit for more than two minutes before running, and he tries to pull away from us and run in public places. We know we need to address these issues right away, but we don’t know where to start.”
STRATEGIES FOR THE FIRST STEPS. It is easy to feel like giving up when we are faced with the seemingly overwhelming task of managing difficult behaviors. At this point, you just need to take several immediate action steps.
Step 1. Keep a running list of positive behaviors. Just keep a piece of paper on the frig and jot down things you notice he CAN do. This can include simple things like “drinks from a cup” or “pulls on pajamas” or “plays with ball.” Sometimes we tend to overlook little steps forward and “good” behavior, so our frustration just grows. A visual record can be heartening and can help remind us to encourage those positive behaviors.
Step 2. Keep a list of disruptive, hurtful, and destructive behaviors. You can’t magically transform your child into a perfect angel overnight, but a running record helps you keep track of little steps forward. This diary also help you prioritize the behaviors. Some are potentially dangerous, so you need to take immediate steps to STOP the behavior right away. Other behaviors are irritating, but you can IGNORE or TOLERATE them for the time being. And you will want to begin systematically SHAPING other behaviors, replacing them with more appropriate behaviors. This running list helps you see when and why negative behaviors occur and to figure out how to best handle different situations.
Step 3. Change the changeable. You can take some immediate action to remove the catalyst for some behaviors. For example, if your youngster always tears books, only allow him to hold cloth or plastic books. If he escapes out open doors, install hook locks up high and make a plan with family members to have 24/7 monitoring. If he puts small items in his mouth, then remove all small objects from his environment. If he screams uncontrollably every time your cell phone rings, change the ring tone or put it on vibrate or beep. If he calms down when he holds a certain blanket or soft toy, then let him keep it with him wherever he goes. If the labels on his clothing irritate him, cut them out. If he loves playing with toy cars, get him a little carry bag to carry kid-proof toy cars with him. If he escapes in the grocery store, put him in a cart with his little bag of cars.
At this point in your son’s life, the most important thing you can do is to take some action. Although it may seem that you are facing an impossible task, you will make progress – just take the first step. And keep in touch. We care and are willing to share ideas.
NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
Automatically generated related posts:
- Escalating Behavior Whether at age four or fourteen or even forty, some...
- Slow Progress When it comes to taming very disruptive or inappropriate behaviors,...
- Difficult Behaviors Developing effective strategies for dealing with difficult behaviors is challenging...
- Two Steps Back Progress can be evasive. Just as soon as we see...
- Stop the Spiral Ever feel like you are going in circles? Sometimes we...