Something to Talk About
“Our son is just now starting to talk,” wrote parents of a pre-teen diagnosed with autism. “He has echoed words and phrases for years, but now he seems to be trying to talk to us. What can we do to encourage that?”
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STRATEGIES. This is an exciting and fun stage because it is as if we begin to get glimpses into the personalities of our friends with autism. Some individuals don’t actually begin to communicate purposefully until they are adults. But, whether language begins emerging at age four or forty, we can take some purposeful steps to encourage communication at this critical stage of development. This podcast will focus on three major strategies: (1) Presence, (2) Topics, and (3) Silence.
Presence. Your son needs someone to talk to, so take time throughout the day to sit quietly and just chat. Sometimes you’ll want to sit face to face (like at a table or a booth at the ice cream shop) and sometimes sit side by side (like on a porch swing or the couch.) Don’t try to fill all the silences. Just relax and take time to listen. The key to success is for as many people as possible to spend short bits of time throughout the day in casual conversations that are uninterrupted by television or schedules or other distractions.
Topics. When most folks begin talking, we tend to focus on nouns. So we teach the names of different items and celebrate when a person can label objects correctly. But emerging language involves so much more than nouns. You can encourage phrases and sentences in casual conversation by looking at books or family photos together or by talking about plans for a family trip or ideas for the supper menu. If your youngster gets stuck on one topic or doesn’t seem to be able to formulate an idea, you can “jump-start” the conversation by pointing out a bird sitting on the feeder or by showing him a toy he played with when he was little. You can also ask questions about recent events or ask his opinions or preferences. For example, you could ask if he likes summer weather or winter weather best. Or you could ask him if he prefers sleeping on the top bunk or the bottom bunk. Then share your opinion about the topic.
Silence. Because many individuals with autism have delays in processing auditory information, we need to slow down our conversations and leave silences that allow our friends to process information and to formulate a response. And we probably all need to keep in mind that nagging or making a big issue over his talking rarely has a positive effect on people, particularly adolescents.
So, as your son’s language continues to emerge, you can help the process by purposefully and systematically focusing on presence and topics – taking time throughout each day to help him discover the joy of communicating with other folks.
NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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