An Elusive Goal
Effective behavior management is an elusive goal. A friend with many years of experience in therapeutic foster care commented on the challenges she encounters maintaining consistent, positive strategies in a 24/7 environment. We came to the conclusion that caregivers are always making decisions, consciously or unconsciously, about the most effective response to any given behavior. We either ENCOURAGE a behavior, or we learn to TOLERATE it, or we realize we need to IGNORE it, or we develop a plan to SHAPE it, or we take immediate steps to STOP it.
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SOME THOUGHTS. So, let’s take a brief look at each of these.
+ ENCOURAGE – It is always exciting to see our folks take a step forward by speaking their first word or learning to tolerate a change in schedule or initiating contact with a friend. We try not to overwhelm our friends with praise, but we do like to find ways to let them know we noticed and to encourage them to continue this newfound skill.
+ TOLERATE – We learn to tolerate some behaviors because we recognize that we cannot micro-manage every single detail of our youngster’s life. For example, some families or residential care staff choose to tolerate rocking or an obsession with a ragged blanket or refusal to eat foods with certain textures.
+ IGNORE – We learn to pick our battles, a strategy that requires us to ignore some behaviors that might be deemed inappropriate. For example, if we are working to decrease screaming and throwing items, we might ignore behaviors like kicking the leg of a chair or biting fingernails. If a youngster is making some efforts to remain in his chair and participate in a group activity, we might choose to ignore his repetitively murmuring, “Time to say goodbye.”
+ SHAPE – Consciously or unconsciously, we are constantly involved in shaping new habits, responses, or skills. The keys to success in shaping new skills are (1) to patiently teach and model the desired behavior, (2) to allow for gradual movement in the right direction, and (3) to give our friends plenty of opportunities to practice newly learned skills. Although our natural response is to force change, nagging rarely works, so shaping is usually the better strategy.
+ STOP – It is, of course, occasionally critical that we take swift action to stop a behavior. We respond immediately, calmly, and firmly when a person with autism is in danger of hurting themselves or another person, when their behavior in public is extremely inappropriate, when their behavior is destructive, and in other situations. The trick is to avoid using this strategy just because we are annoyed or at the end of our rope.
NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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