Perfection
“I’m just overwhelmed with the details,” said one parent of a ten-year-old girl diagnosed with autism. “It just seems impossible to keep up with all the details of school and medicine and diet and behavior and friends….there is not time for her to just be my little girl!” Other parents and grandparents have also expressed concern that they are not doing very well in their parenting duties.
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SOME THOUGHTS. Even the most organized, efficient person eventually discovers that it is impossible to attain the goal of “Perfect Parent.” This is true of parents of typical kids as well as of parents of kids who need additional attention because of autism. Expecting perfection from yourself as a caregiver or from your child only leads to headaches. The key to meeting daily challenges is to relax. “But,” you might say, “Who has time to relax?” Maybe a better word would be to “prioritize.” No parent is able to attend to every single detail, so just pick the MOST important issues for each day. Figure out when the stress-level gets out of hand, and take specific steps to make those times more calm. For example, you might anticipate the craziness of the morning rush and the bedtime hassle, and insert a bit of humor so everyone can relax. Make a list of things that MUST get done and let the other things slide occasionally. Forgive yourself and others if some things don’t get done. Don’t get so bogged down in the list that you fail to take time to enjoy your relationship with your youngsters. Just walk away from that cliff called “Perfection” so you don’t drive yourself or your family over the edge. And take about three minutes each day to listen to this podcast which will be filled to the brim with ideas to help enhance the quality of life of all those around you.
CONCLUSION I welcome your input and questions about challenges encountered by caregivers of people with autism. Please send messages to me, Cathy Knoll, this e-mail address: HYPERLINK “mailto:faq@autismipod.com” talk@FAQAutism.com
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