Appropriate Hands
In the past week, several parents have brought up concerns about inappropriate public behavior. It is the phase that parents of pre-teen boys with autism dread. “I can’t believe he just sticks his hands in his pants even when we are in the store or sitting in church,” said one parent. “We tell him to stop, but that just seems to make things worse!”
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SPECIFIC STRATEGIES. Inappropriate public behavior is one of the most frustrating aspects of caring for an individual diagnosed with autism. I have found that following these specific pro-active steps helps decrease the embarrassing habit many boys have of sticking their hands in their pants.
WARDROBE: Take steps to prevent the behavior by having wear blue jeans that are fitted at the waist. Also have them wear with a substantial belt. This works better when in public than if the youngster wears sweatpants, gym shorts, or other elastic waist pants.
DISTRACTIONS: Be proactive and anticipate the behavior. Keep your youngster busy and his hands occupied by having him hold items for you, push the grocery cart, play hand-held games, twiddle his thumbs, hold a texturized item or one of the squishy balls used for exercise, or hold his own small photo flip album with pictures of his family and friends.
DON’T SAY DON’T: Respond to inappropriate behavior in a calm but direct manner. When the behavior occurs, tell the youngster what you DO want rather than what you DON’T want. Just calmly and quietly say, “Put your hands on your knees” or “Fold your hands now.” There is a more detailed discussion of this concept, “Don’t Say Don’t” on the In-Depth Issues section of our website. Click on “In-Depth Issues” at www.FAQAutism.com
NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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